Alienation and Lone Wolf mentality

Has anybody felt alienated from family or social groups due to the position you take on minimalism, big tech, privacy rights, and/or just for not using social media?

I’ve always been a lone wolf but the side comments, eye rolls and negative feedback get tiresome.

Are you embracing this distinction between yourself and the masses or are you finding it difficult to go against the crowd?

Are you a lone woIf too or is FOMO prevalent in your life? Lol.

Would love to hear if anyone can relate. Maybe share a funny story or two.

Happy I found Mudita and this forum.

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@urszula considering what you wrote in your latest thread, ‘I guess I missed the chaos’, it’s pretty obvious you enjoy not being tethered to these elements.

Would you consider yourself a lone wolf in this regard within your personal network?

Have you noticed any negatives in your journey of disconnecting online? Or has it been a smooth transition?

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@mindful321 Hmmmm, I never really thought of myself as a “lone wolf” I guess, I just live my life & I’m not really too concerned about things that happen outside my immediate orbit. Don’t get get me wrong, I do have some social media, like Twitter & yes INSTAGRAM (shocking I know), but the thing is, I just don’t let them control my life. I go on there once in awhile, when I’m on the computer (I don’t have the apps on my Blackberry because there are no FB & INSTA apps for that OS) Just like with all technology I use, it’s there to be a useful tool, rather than a mindless distraction.
That said, it DID take awhile to get to this point & I definitely didn’t do it COLD TURKEY. You have to take little baby steps everyday & you’ll be surprised how much richer your life becomes. I’ve learned to nurture my REAL LIFE relationships & make actual time for people. My family & friends call and text instead of using apps, but I’ve had to encourage them to do this. Over time, they got the hang of it. If people want you in their life, they will find ways for you to be there, you don’t have to fight for a spot.
I think since I took baby steps, it’s pretty much been a smooth transition. That’s why I really appreciate all the tips our Mudita Community is able to offer people switching to Mudita Pure. If you’re a heavy social media user & then you just fall of the face of the internet, people can start to get worried & perhaps pull you back down the rabbit hole.

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Perhaps one day Mudita will collate – or reword – all the great tips that folks here have posted, as a guide to people who are considering ordering a Mudita Pure.

Someone said recently – here? somewhere else? – that his friends “talked among themselves” on the social-media site that he had abandoned, wondering what had happened to him … but never calling or texting him to see how he was doing! Perhaps the lesson from that story is that one should contact all of one’s contacts on a social-media site before abandoning the site.

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Perhaps the lesson from that story is that one should contact all of one’s contacts on a social-media site before abandoning the site

I think this is important, too. I figured most things out way too fast in 2017 and became extremely revolted by big tech. Just adding fuel to their platforms didn’t sit well, even if there were no “tangible” consequences for me yet. I deleted all my socials before I had time to even think of how to stay in contact with friends and followers.

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@kirkmahoneyphd That’s an awesome concept; a cheat sheet / CliffsNotes on transitioning into digital minimalism.

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@urszula I went to an event recently… and politely asked relatives not to upload photos to Facebook if I was included. You bet I received eye rolls and commentary about how that’s a "typical [my name] thing to say” and that I should stop being paranoid, as they mockingly laugh “oh yeah, big brother is spying on us, right.:joy:

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@kirkmahoneyphd & @mindful321 I think that’s a GREAT idea for a blog post :smiley:

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I deactivated Facebook, which means that I have access only to Messenger. I’ve posted on my profile sometime before they can find me on Twitter, Telegram (I have a channel there), or through my website.

I don’t miss it at all. Perhaps, I’ll not reach some “friends” on my list. Still, the peace and time that this decision brought me created some “selfishness” to my well-being and allowed me to organize my life better and spend time with people interested in connecting with me rather than hundreds of “friends.”

I use Twitter only for my private feed lists on subjects or news that I’m interested in and to share any information about my work, redirecting the followers to my website or Telegram.

I don’t think we are lone wolves by trying to live our real-life rather than look at it through a “smart” device and create a balance between it and necessary digital life. A feature phone or not being in social media don’t make us “old fashion.” Dispensing the “smart” devices in our home and choosing analogical or well-selected devices does not make us a primitive species.

Why do I need a robot following me? Why do I need to ask about the weather or music on a device if I can go to the computer and make it in 10 seconds? What’s the deal of showing my lunch to hundreds of people that I don’t know? Why do I need to look to an incredible and natural sunrise in front of me through the phone camera to get the best capture?

I have a theory that some “smart” devices appeared due to our sloppiness and addiction in the virtual world and manipulative inception that we don’t have time and our lives are extremely busy. Of course, we don’t have time if we spend it worrying about being more present in the virtual world. We are flooded with unnecessary technology, but someone (or something) told us that we are better persons if we have them.

I see that in my area (animal behavior) with humans that flood their dogs and cats with gizmos and unnecessary toys, and the time they have with them is used for pictures in social media. They only need our empathy.

I didn’t have any bad feedback about my choices or decisions, maybe because the people who know me know that I live my life respecting all the individual choices, and I don’t lose time or energy caring about what others think about it. :slight_smile:

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@mindful321 I have a friend who is super cautious about what’s put online, but he’s super cheeky about it. If someone is very insistent that he be in the picture, he says OK & then just covers his face with his hands. Then the person who wanted the picture gets all huffy & puffy and he just laughs. He does it to me all the time even though he knows I’m not going to post it anywhere, he still does it. And I love him for his convictions.

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You could also frame it as a consent issue.
Our family has made the same choice not to have our kids photos on any social media platform, be it for school, music/swimming lessons etc. Our children can make decisions for themselves when they are adults, without the risk of a pre-existing digital footprint there to potentially embarrass them.

You are just at the other end of the scale in that rather than someone protecting your identity, you are making that choice for yourself as you see fit.

If your friends don’t agree with it, secretly sign them up to a mailing list for some polar-opposite political party or proselytising group. It will be a learning exercise on digital privacy and consent.

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LOL. I can relate. Thanks for sharing!

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Finding a social group of good people that RESPECT my decisions, not so much that they agree, is key and it’s something I’m still looking for. It’s just crazy to me, that you have to request that people NOT post things about yourself on the web. It wasn’t that long ago when a child was growing up and going through the ‘awkward’ phase, they didn’t have to worry about the added stress of having someone snap a picture or write a blog post about it for the whole world to see. Some interesting articles I’ve read on this subject: Daughter asks mom to stop writing about her., When kids Google themselves, I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me, Why I deleted my social media.

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This is a beautiful thread with such glorious replies. I’ve cherished all that has been shared.

While I feel not like a lone wolf as it has been many years since I last cared what others thought of me, I do feel concerned about finding someone to spend my life with, make a family with, that also honors and respects a low tech, minimalist, anonymous life.

We are not the majority as of current. Some days I feel my life’s purpose is a crusade against Big Everything and to work diligently towards their downfall. But we’re surrounded by addicts!

Will it ever end? I wonder…

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