The Anti-Social Century: How Our Phones Are Rewriting Human Connection

Mindful Discussions
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I just read a VERY Interesting article from the Atlantic:

If the article is behind a paywall for you, then here’s the link to the audio:

You can download it & put it on your Mudita Harmony :slight_smile:

In a previous thread, @minimalist4life wrote that 'Even libraries are not libraries anymore."

I don’t think it’s just libraries anymore.
Have you noticed how the spaces once brimming with human interaction now feel quieter, more detached? Whether it’s a bar turned into a takeout counter or a family dinner replaced by screens, The Atlantic article made me really think about how our increasing preference for solitude, much of it driven by technology, is reshaping our lives and society.

Here’s a question to the community:

How can we reclaim a sense of community and connection in an age of digital convenience?

I’m curious: do you guys find yourself seeking solitude more these days, or are you actively working to cultivate real-world connections? Let’s discuss.

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– The latter. For example, going for a run with friends and then enjoying conversation with them afterward is a weekly highlight for me.

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This is quite dramatic now in the U.S. public schools that unwisely allow students to have cellphones with them throughout the school day.

School-lunchroom cafeterias that in pre-cellphone days were filled with noisy chatter are now quiet zones, with each student absorbed in his or her cellphone.

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USA-based parents who are worried about reaching their children – or vice-versa – during a school-day emergency but who do not want their children to have cellphones should check out the 4G/LTE devices from Rapid Radios.

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I am actively doing this daily, even with my dumb phone I make sure it is out of sight, out of mind, I am exhausted with even text messaging. I have a rule now if I am going something that is all I am doing, so when I watch TV my phone is not beside me, it is away out of sight but on only to receive phone calls, it has made things much better in regards to my focus, yesterday I spent 4 hours reading total the entire day, I finished a book in literally 24 hours, purely focused. My brain feels relaxed as if it has gotten rest.

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Brilliant!

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I’m not a fan of texting. If we’re going to have a conversation, I think it’s quicker & much more efficient to just make a phone call. The texting back & forth takes up so much time & effort.

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While watching a TV comedy series set in the 1990s, I am enjoying seeing the characters simply answer any call to their telephones without knowing WHO is calling before answering that call.

Screening by answering machines, then by Caller ID, and nowadays by “Block anybody not in my cellphone’s contacts list!” was the progression away from the simplicity of answering any call.

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I find that as I have done a lot of inner work over the years, I feel I know who I am - my behaviours, beliefs and thoughts - as separate from any outer influence.
As such I have come to acknowledge my intense requirement for LOTS of time away from other humans. Modern psychology discourages such ‘solitude’ however I am immersed in a loving world of animals, insects, plants and creative endeavours and feel my health and quality of life benefits greatly from it.
I am specific about when I engage with other people and when I go out into the world of wacky unpredictable humans with their foibles, gadgets and personal wifi and EMF zones in constant transmission/pollution mode.

Given my personal experience I wonder how much other people crave periods of solitude but feel unable to honour that in their daily lives, so seek a few moments here and there immersed in tech?

Social interactions with other people can be overwhelming for some humans - it doesn’t mean they’re mentally challenged or dysfunctional, just different to others with their social requirements…

I feel that as with all things, it’s a balance to be found by each individual in each moment.

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I absolutely love this topic of discussion. Let me first preface with saying that I tend to learn more on the introvert side of the spectrum and need alone time to recharge. I really do enjoy my time with myself and sometimes I can feel it when I need it, even when I don’t recognize it, alone time always seems to help. However, like almost anyone, we all need a little socialization and I know when I really need that as well.

Currently, I live with my significant other and his parents while we save up to get a place of our own. Unfortunately, I don’t have too many irl friends anymore as I became an adult because it’s proven to be really challenging to stay in touch. I even have a difficult time talking to extended family every month due to work constraints, time differences, various activities, and just finding mutual free time where something else isn’t going on.

Recently, I graduated college and unlike my parents, uncles and aunts and many of my cousins, I cannot say I’ve made a life-long friend in college. I’d like to say it’s because of technology and how it’s changed human connection, but then I see people who seem to be blooming just fine. Even if it’s one or two friends, people have stayed connected whereas for me, I formed a close bond with my last roommate and I haven’t really reached out as much because I found myself always taking initiative and I didn’t want to constantly be the only one doing so. I wonder how different it would’ve been if phones weren’t such a prominent way of socialization. I’m going against the grain where I’m using my phone less, yet everyone surrounding me is glued to their screen.

Anyway, I do believe that at some level human connection is a lot more difficult with phone usage. It’s certainly different. I find myself writing online like in this forum or on Reddit when I just want to socialize a bit more. For me, if a friend turns up irl, I will be happy, but I try to not think too much about not having friends in person because I’m grateful for the people I do have (my SO, his parents, my Dad).

If phones were back to being dumb phones (and with these bridge-gaping phones like the Light Phone & Kompakt it may help) in just that they are used to bring people closer together with talking more, then maybe things would be different. Right now though, I know there’s a whole new generation that is dependent on phones and have never lived a life without one. I imagine it will be hard to get them off their devices, especially if all their friends have them, too. I can’t talk on the grand scale because even though it’s a societal issue, the preference to become more digitally minimal and/or less phone usage seems very niche. Meaning, outside of the community, even if people want change or need the switch, they may be unaware of companies like Light and Mudita because out of the billions of people, we are definitely in the minority.

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The word “email” has come to have at least three meanings:

  • “I got email.” means “I got a message that was sent through an electronic-mail service to me.”
  • “Email me!” means “Send an email message to me!”
  • “What is your email?” means “What is your email address?”

The meaning of the word “phone” has changed, too:

  • Telephone became 'phone, which became phone.
  • Cellular telephone became cellular phone, which became cell phone or cellphone, which became phone.
  • Smart cellphone became smartphone, which has become phone.

So, in my opinion:

  • The title of the article at The Atlantic should have been “The Anti-Social Century: How Our Smartphones Are Rewriting Human Connection” for clarity.
  • Landline telephones, no matter whether via plain old telephone service (POTS) or via voice over IP (VoIP), did and do bring people closer together.
  • Cellphones before the advent of smartphones did bring people closer together.
  • Cellphones such as the Mudita Kompakt will bring people closer together.

There is one qualifier, though, to this ability of these devices to bring people closer together. If the first party on a telephone call is using one of these devices but the second party is using a smartphone, then there is a risk that the second party will let the smartphone distract him or her from the content of the call.

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One thing that has to happen to reclaim our sense of community and connection despite digital convenience is that we need to regain “Third Places,” those physical spots outside of work and home where people gather to be together, in person, face to face. Churches and town squares largely used to provide this, but both of those are on the wane. Bars . . . well, I don’t drink, plus a lot of the interactions I’ve seen at bars, fueled by alcohol, are not the kind of face-to-face interaction I want to be a part of.

Some shopping centers that used to be housed in single-structure malls (the Third Place of my childhood when I was living in America) have been broken up into multi-building walking-malls, which is a good start. I notice that video game arcades (okay, that’s really where I spent most of my time, if I’m being honest) are starting to make a comeback, at least in my part of the US. I’ve taken great interest in The Offline Club and would love to go there some day (anyone have a plane ticket to Amsterdam they’re willing to give away?), which is an intentionally offline Third Space: https://www.instagram.com/theoffline_club/

It’s not just a matter of eschewing certain technologies, though that helps. But if we’re going to get connected again, we have to be together, and to be together, we need the right spaces to do it in.

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Thank you for sharing such thoughtful insights! Reclaiming “Third Places” is so vital in today’s super-connected world. The mall by my house in Chicago, where I grew up, actually opens up 2 hours early before the stores open at 10am so that a local club- Mall Walkers can meet and walk (for exercise) around the mall. It’s mosty older folks from the neighborhood, but they meet up everyday & walk & socialize.

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I know of another mall (up here in Wisconsin) that does the same. This is great for older retired people, but it does little for younger people or those who are working. I’d love to see more of that sort of thing that can also accomodate busy schedules.

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I think malls were great. Because you got to socialize, shop & get a bite to eat under one room, without worrying about what the weather is.

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Thanks, I like idea of Walkie Talkie coming back, but not as police device :smiley:

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Open air markets are great for this, like farmers/aritsan markets. Kids get to come and play, dogs are out and about, people interact and in my local area we are blessed with many regular markets, where it is a ‘social catch up’ type area, the market crowd get together.
We also have lots of garage sales and there is a ‘garage sale crowd’ who know each other and have a chat at every place.

I had a heartening experience recently at a market - I saw a toddler in a pram holding a smart phone in her two little hands right in front of herself, which was on a showing some changing graphics of some kind, but she wasn’t looking at that - she was curiously looking at all of the stalls and the people around her! YAY! :heart:

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This is true. Where are you located? Open air markets are not nearly as common in the US as in Europe. I’m lucky living in Wisconsin, where farmers’ markets are a regular fixture for most of the year. Probably something to do with the strong German and Nordic heritage here.

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Ah, gotta love a farmers market! I’m in Australia in an area where markets are abundant and form a large part of the local culture, community and economy.
What do you notice about people’s behaviour at your local markets, do they interact a lot?

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@galtions In Poland, farmer’s markets are very popular. We even have neighborhood bazaars that cater to farmer’s markets. It’s a really good way to get the best products. And yes, people do interact with one another, A LOT.

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