Is convenience costing us REAL & MEANINGFUL connection?

Mindful Discussions
1

We recently discussed whether technology is making us talk less in another thread on the FORUM. Yesterday, I came across an article that adds another layer to that conversation:

https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/2026/09/convenience-loneliness-bullard/688791/

One line really stayed with me: “Community is, all too often, the cost of convenience.”

In the previous thread, we brought up how many everyday activities we can now do without speaking to anyone. Order groceries. (Self-check out if you leave the house), buy a coffee through an app, exercise at home. PLUS, we can spend an evening with an endless supply of entertainment without the need for another human being.

None of these choices seems particularly significant on its own. But put them together, and how many opportunities for connection disappear from our day?

FULL disclosure: I’ve caught myself watching a series premiere of a show & texting my friend about it when we could have been watching it together, considering she lives 4 BLOCKS away from me. We could have literally walked to each others houses & watched it together.

So, while reading this article, what I found especially interesting was the attention given to those small, familiar encounters: greeting a neighbor, chatting with a cashier, being recognized at your local café. They may never become close friendships, but they can help us feel that we belong somewhere.

This is actually true in my neighborhood & I try to make sure I notice my neighbors and people I interact with every day.

Of course, convenience has real value. Sometimes delivery or a text message is exactly what we need. Still, it’s worth asking whether the time we save actually makes room for connection, or simply for more time alone.

I’m wondering: Have you deliberately kept an “inconvenient” habit because of the human connection it brings? Maybe shopping locally, calling instead of texting, or attending something in person when you could do it from home.

I’d love to hear which small interactions you would miss if they disappeared.

For me, it’s going to my local grocery/convenience store where they know me by name & have treats for Misiek. PLUS, when I got on vacation, they notice & ask where I’ve been when I was gone for a week or so.

2 Likes
2

Technology has defintely made us lazy, no one really wants to talk on the phone lets be honest because its easier to just text someone. We are all guilty of it, it has made us very lazy in my opinion. For me its hard cause I honestly hate talking on the phone too lol. I rather meet in person but most people getting them to meet in person seems like a chore these days which is sad. We have become lazy and we take each other for granted.

1 Like
3

Yes : asking for the menu instead of scanning the QR code, ordering from the staff instead of on the automatic booth, queuing for the cashier at the supermarket rather than self-checkout (and therefore not stealing their job and working for the supermarket for free!), bugging the receptionist at my local gym so they can manually let me in rather than opening their bloody app, hunting for a local taxi instead of using yet another one of those goddamn apps…

The biggest one for me : when I go travelling, not using Booking, AirBnb, Trip Advisor etc but relying on happenchance and asking strangers.

The last one is a particularly sensitive subject to me when I go walk the Camino de Santiago (which is basically a long hike through Spain).

The “normal” way of doing this is this : you wake up, put on your shoes, find the first arrow pointing at the trail, and start walking. You follow the arrows, don’t worry about anything else than finding the next one, you take in the views, say hi to the cows, chat with your fellow walkers if you wish to… When you’re hungry, you walk till the next village, find a little pub/restaurant (the path will pass one for sure), and order as best you can in Spanish or with signs whatever the day’s menu is. Then you start walking again. After a while you might enter a meditative state. Or you might get lost in your thoughts. Your legs might hurt but they keep going out of habit. When the day comes to an end, you just stop at the next village and drop your bag in the first hostel you find. You chat with the other walkers who have landed in the same place.

Basically a beautiful long moment of introspection, (self-)discovery, nature, and reconnection to the essentials. To “REAL LIFE” :smiley:

Sadly, what you see today is : people following their GPS instead of the arrows (depriving them of the view, the disconnection, and the fun of finding the next arrow), posting on the social networks, and BOOKING THEIR HOSTEL IN ADVANCE ! Basically surrendering to their (legitimate) fear of uncertainty, but missing out on the profound experiences of letting go, and of trusting the world, the hostel keepers, the locals to find a solution for you in case anything goes wrong. My most beautiful travel experiences were those where a problem turned into an amazing moment. Those moments would never have happened with an “over-safe” and convenient arrangement.

What makes me sad is that, by making this the norm, the fearful/lazy majority are making it increasingly difficult for all of us to “live in the world” and not in the apps.

What makes me furious is that these big corporations have identified what were once very human and rich moments, and have inserted themselves into the transaction. They say it’s to “help” us. But the real benefit is the billions filling their pockets and the incommensurate political and social power they gain.

6 Likes
4

@bont Your description of the Camino really stayed with me. It’s on my bucket list, and following the arrows, saying hello to cows, and seeing where the day takes me sounds like a pretty wonderful way to experience it. :blush:
I’d always wanted to do it with my dog, Misiek, but he’s over 14 now, so we’ll let him off the hook. He doesn’t need that much spiritual enlightenment. LOL

IMG_20200716_073848_865
IMG_20200716_073848_8652223×2223 2.28 MB

What you said about a problem turning into an amazing moment really resonates. When we arrange everything in advance, we can end up closing off opportunities for someone to surprise us with their kindness, a recommendation, or an invitation we never would have thought to seek out.

I can also understand why someone would book a bed ahead, especially if they have health concerns or simply need that reassurance to make the trip possible. But your point about apps becoming unavoidable is an important one. There’s something troubling about needing a digital intermediary for an interaction that could happen directly between two people.

Have you had a moment on the Camino when things went “wrong” and led to something wonderful? I’d love to hear it.

4 Likes
5

Misiek doesn’t need spiritual enlightenment I’m sure : old dogs are wise beyond that :slight_smile:

I can also understand why someone would book a bed ahead, especially if they have health concerns or simply need that reassurance to make the trip possible.

It’s understandable but I humbly believe it’s misguided. If one has health concerns or are a slow walker they can simply do shorter stages. If they’re healthy and just booking out of fear of the unknown… well they’re missing out on some important aspects of the Camino. (And also altering the experience for everyone else unfortunately).

Anyway !… :smiley:

One nice example of misery turned into miracle happened on my last day this year. I had met another pilgrim 2 weeks earlier and really enjoyed their company. The following days I had this hope in the back of my head of stumbling upon them again in a random village bar having tortilla and coffee or in one of the pilgrim hostels. (I hadn’t taken their phone number when we first met because I didn’t want to spend my days texting them and also preferred letting fate bring us back together if it was meant to be !).

On my last day of walking I had given up on ever seeing them again. I thought they had walked faster than me and were days ahead.

And that’s when I ran into trouble. The following day I needed to take a bus back to the airport in Bilbao, which is where I had started walking. But this little regional bus - which I did not think needed to be booked in advance - was unexpectedly fully booked ! I was at risk of missing my flight back home. The wonderful people at the hostel, pilgrims and staff, all tried to help me, calling left and right, checking blablacar… Nothing was working and I was starting to freak out. Finally the bar tender at the café next to the bus station (?!) found me a bus to another city, and then from there another bus to the airport. Saved ! I hop on the bus, arrive in that stop-over city, and decide to walk about while waiting for my next bus. Well… guess who I run into right there and then ? The person I had been hoping to see again ! They were not days ahead as I had thought, but days behind me, and in that exact city at the exact same time and day as me, who was never even supposed to stop there ! We spent a nice afternoon together, exchanged numbers this time, and even met up later back home.

All this because I hadn’t booked in advance my bus back to the airport :slight_smile:

I’ve written a short novel again, but I hope it encourages anyone who made it this far to throw on a rucksack, leave the smartphone at home, and start walking ! @urszula do not wait - do it this autumn if you can ! (October is a good month for it). It’s worth it !

1 Like