Join the conversation & let us know your thoughts.
Thereās almost too much to say about this topic, I really donāt think communications technology is the only or even the major factor in what is causing disconnection between people. Human beings do not experience life deterministically, yet we try to draw broad conclusions on complex issues in objective ways in order to give us a feeling of control or comfort in the face of dehumanization. Case in point, labelling loneliness as a āpublic health issueā is an objective and impersonal way of grappling with what we all experience as a deeply painful sensation that manifests in ways specific to our individual needs. Loneliness for one person can mean something radically different than loneliness for another. When feelings become married to problems, and even worse, public health problems, the people experiencing those feelings become more isolated.
I find it important therefore to define what weāre talking about before making any conclusions. I read Marcianoās report and believe itās important to note a few things. First, āmeaningfulā and āauthenticā are not defined in relation to interaction. Marcianoās methodology is rooted in whatās called positive psychology theory, which defines āauthenticityā as āā¦living in a way that is true to oneās values and beliefs, rather than conforming to external pressures or expectationsā. If we are to apply that definition here, would that mean authentic connection refers to making connections with others while in the process of being true to your values and beliefs, or does it mean connecting only with those who do not pressure you to conform to their value system? Second, the study is limited to 1600 adolescents in Ticino, Switzerland which is one of the wealthiest areas of Europe. While loneliness for 1600 wealthy europeans may coincide more heavily with communications technology, that is not a broad enough sample of humanity to make conclusions on everyoneās feeling of loneliness in every culture. Terms like āconnected solitudeā, like much of positive psychological theory, is not rooted in significant scholarly research. Not to say that research is perfect, quite the contrary, but important to note.
Iām really not trying to go off on a tangent here or be pedantic, Iām just trying to highlight how I think weāre looking at this question the wrong way. What are human beings feeling right now? Disconnected? Isolated? Lonely? Humans are feeling all of these things, and also happy, sad, thrilled, angry, etc. If the perception is that fewer people are emotionally engaging with each other, and that this development constitutes a social health crisis, then if weāre going to blame communications technology we should also investigate our social technologies as a root cause. A cell phone is physical technology that affords real-time sensory exchange between two or more people, as well as consumption of information. Emotional expression, friendship, resiliency, listening, forgiveness, masking, and language skills are social technologies. How can one meaningfully measure the impact of one childās listening skills versus the impact of a global system designed to commodify everything pushing advertisements to that child every few seconds? Asking that child how they feel after such an interaction is a useful method only if that child also know how to actually pair physical sensations to feelings, how to artciulate those feelings and has stable enough attachment to endure that entire process without going through a trauma response. Is this the cell phoneās fault, or a fault in our language, or a fault in a system designed to sell as much to you as possible from as many vectors as possible? Or none/all of the above? I think this is far more complicated.
Social comparison is a social technology that teaches that there is an ideal sort of person to be. Other social systems sell that ideal as content, which people doomscroll for comfort. Which social systems teach and promote authenticity? Do they do so without an aim towards selling you an ideal authenticity? How can children learn how to keep in touch, how to be present, how to care, how to even navigate emotions if authenticity and emotionality are counter to the social values being blasted at them? Removing a cell phone is just removing one vector for ideas that play out in how we live, work and die - the idea is going to be absorbed anyway. I donāt believe that communications technology designed to help us talk to each other more has cheapened communication, connection or is the primary cause of increasingly disconnected people: I think the desire to turn anything into a commodity has cheapened the value of human connection entirely because it is fundamentally rooted in the idea of selling anything, which requires everyone involved to practice emotional disconnection (especially when the goal is to sell people, whether that be their body, their health or their data). Otherwise the inhumanity of it is too much to bear.
4 Likes
The way I understand it is like this:
When we entered the age of convenience, the traditional form of socializing has mostly gone away. We do not āneed toā go out into the world, all can be brought to our doorstep or our rolled down car window.
We have come to live life idly, completely by ourselves, whereas before we may have sat around the dinner table skinning a rabbit, playing an instrument, making food, talking about the days events.
Now all new developments are instantly known by nearly everyone, it eliminates the need to ask questions and try to get a better understanding from immediate local sources .
Greatest example being, the elderly. They used to teach the young and live at home, now we send em off to a home where their cognitive health takes a dive, and unfortunately technology does not fulfill the needs of human community and interaction.
Depression and other emotional maladies are more common, prescriptions use is off the chartsā¦but hey āTHEREāS BETTER HELP! JUST DOWNLOAD THE APP AND TRUST THE PROCESS.ā
I like kompakt because I literally feel I am better connected emotionally to those that are closest to me, I can ask them questions about stuff that is new to me, and I can listen to their perspective without needing to give my opinion about the topic being discussed. That is a step up from my scrolling days.
3 Likes
@rithessa Thank you for this deeply thoughtful response. You raise important questions, especially about how we define loneliness, authenticity, and what it really means to connect. I do agree wholeheartedly with you that loneliness is not a one-size-fits-all phenomenon, and, YES, labeling it as a public health issue, while helpful in gaining institutional attention, can also strip away its complexity and emotional nuance.
Youāre also 100% right that skills like empathy, listening, and emotional presence are just as vital as any communication tool. Itās what makes us human. Back in 2020 I wrote an article about the role of technology in our lives as humans.
And I do understand that he issue isnāt just the tech itself, but how itās shaped by systems that often prioritize consumption over care.
I donāt see disconnection as a problem tech alone can solve, but I do believe that intentionally designed tools can create space for more meaningful interactions.
In the end, itās about using tech to support connection, not replacing it all together.
1 Like
Beautifully said @mikhail Youāve highlighted something so important about how convenience has quietly transformed connection into a solitary act. We can get food, news, entertainment, even therapy, without ever looking another human in the eyes (and we donāt think thereās anything wrong with that) and while some of those tools do serve a purpose, they also come with a hidden cost.
I think all of us at Mudita appreciate your mention of how Kompakt helped shift you from passive scrolling to more engaged, present interactions because thatās exactly what we hoped for when designing it. The aim is not to take away connection, but to encourage a different kind of connection, one on YOUR terms, one that prioritizes presence over performance, curiosity over convenience.
I loved your example about asking loved ones questions instead of Googling everything. Iām gonna start doing this with my friends. I do this with my dad all the time & he explains everything to my like Iām a 5 year old. Itās really a powerful form of reconnection because he feels needed & I get info. So, in the end, itās not just about what we know, but about who we choose to learn from, and making space for that is something we can all benefit from.
Thank you for sharing your experience so honestly.
Thank you.
As awesome as new tech developments have been, many of them are creating blind spots in our personal lives, Iām only speaking from my own experience.
1 Like