Blog: The Lost Art of Conversation

Join the conversation & let us know your thoughts.

5 Likes

My musings on the lost art of conversation…

Let me know your thoughts :slight_smile:

4 Likes

What pains me most is how humans seem to have lost the art of arguing – I feel like we no longer can clash opinions without taking knives out.

7 Likes

@aleksander Very true. Conflict resolution is also a lost art…

Hmmmm maybe that’s a new blog topic :slight_smile:

6 Likes

I couldn’t agree more. I’ve noticed that most conflict stems from the inability and sometimes the sheer unwillingness to understand another person’s perspective and experiences (is this what defines empathy?)

People seem to be too eager to get their own point across, often not being able to just listen and hear, what the other person is saying.

There was a quote by Carl Jung that relates to this, which by modern standards can be translated as “Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.”

I firmly believe that a good conversation can be established, when both sides are willing to put effort into understanding the other side. This establishes constructive dialogue, even if our points of view are different.

6 Likes

I feel like there are many of us now (myself included) who prefer conversations with animals because they don’t ‘take knives out’ as @aleksander put it. It’s safe communication for many who have been habitually verbally attacked or put down. Learning to have safe conversations with other people takes time and I completely agree @urszula , it is a lost art for some of us.
Perhaps there is an idea in there somewhere for a Chat -thingo or a ‘quotes’ thing on Pure to assist with human to human conversations, which assists the person to learn healthful and kind yet direct and empowering conversation? Or just encourages them to keep trying?
I read a quote from a local non-neurotypical kid (ADHD) who said something like “that I can’t dissolve into a thousand bats and fly away from uncomfortable situations is a constant source of irritation to me.” What if he didn’t have to? What if he could refer to his phone or even an offline pocket phrase book under “uncomfortable situations” and have a direct yet kind phrase to repeat? It may seem super simple to those who have good communication skills but there are so many especially kids these day who just haven’t learned this skill…

7 Likes

This is something that has been troubling me for many years. As a teacher, this is not something that we are noticing now. It’s been going downhill for years. And it’s not just now that we can identify it with a name to make it more “palatable.” We have to accept that this is something that is a result of the environment. I have students who don’t know how to properly address an envelope.

4 Likes

Your statement really touched me. I am neurodivergent myself, and so is my son. The communication difficulties arise from how our brains work, and it doesn’t mean that they work worse, they’re just different. I really like the example of operating systems: both Windows and macOS are good operating systems, but they can’t communicate with each other. It doesn’t mean that either of them is faulty. I think it would be great to create a kind of bridge between them that would allow them to meet halfway.

In the context of neurodiversity and how wonderfully different we are, with different needs, technology can (and should) be an ally. I have written in one of the threads about how ChatGPT helped my husband and me communicate in harmony with the principles of nonviolent communication. :slight_smile:

In the context of neurodiversity and how wonderfully different we are, with different needs, technology can (and should) be an ally. I have written in one of the threads about how ChatGPT helped my husband and me communicate in harmony with the principles of nonviolent communication. :slight_smile:

3 Likes

And do they have to? The world is changing… does this skill naturally fade away with the development of civilization? In the past, carrier pigeons were used for communication. :slight_smile:
In my opinion, we should focus on teaching children, young people (and adults) that regardless of the form communication takes (social media, SMS, Discord, email, mail, face-to-face interactions…), it is important to treat each other with respect. What do you think? What are your observations as a teacher?

3 Likes

Maybe they don’t have to address an envelope in order to live, but communication is the lifeblood of a civilized society. It helps us share ideas, build relationships, solve problems, work together, keep our culture alive, and be engaged members of our community. If we don’t communicate well, society won’t make much progress, people won’t get along, and we won’t be able to grow as individuals.
Here’s the main point - being able to effectively communicate can make the difference between getting ahead and staying behind.

5 Likes

<3 I totally agree. I think our opinions complement each other. What I mean is that people have different communication styles and needs, and they use various tools for that. The most important thing is to respect each other, our own and others’ boundaries, and to be empathetic and understanding, especially towards diversity.

5 Likes

YES! Just different. I agree. I enjoy the huge range of diversity in our world - in human, in animals, in nature, in all things. It great to hear you’ve found something ‘ChatGPT’ that has helped communication for you. :slight_smile:

@worldcitizen88 Can you elaborate on this? I’m curious as to what you have noticed…

6 Likes

@galtions These are just my personal observations, so generally anecdotal, but the overuse of digital technology has reshaped language and communication. Digital communication often favors speed and convenience over grammar and completeness. As a result, language may be simplified or abbreviated, possibly diminishing language proficiency over time. This is especially notable with the use of acronyms and emojis. However, the main observation I’ve had is that written digital communication can lack the personal touch and emotional nuance that come with face-to-face interaction. Subtle cues like tone of voice, gestures, and facial expressions can be lost, leading to misunderstandings. I see kids, especially younger ones, having trouble with this. Additionally, as English tends to dominate digital platforms, those who aren’t proficient in the language may face challenges in communication and feel excluded from conversations, if they are not proficient in “digital slang.”

3 Likes

Last night in the news was a story about a judge who ruled that one business party’s “thumb-up” emoji to another business party in a text-message exchange represented consent to confirm a business-offer discussion.

– Yet another example, in my opinion, of why one should avoid emojis/emoticons as much as possible

3 Likes

WOW! That’s just unbelievable. Now, courts should “be ready” for these new digital challenges.
Another article I read about the “thumbs up” emoji is that GEN Z considers it passive-aggressive & offensive.

2 Likes
3 Likes

Thanks for elaborating, I understand more of what you mean… It’s the same with digital communication - no tone, emotion etc. can lead to misunderstandings - it’s as if this sort of communication has leapt out of computer land into some people’s lives.

I did catch myself once trying to ‘swipe’ my laptop’s screen and wondering why it didn’t work (it’s not that kind of screen). I was quite disturbed by this behaviour in myself because it seemed such a common sense thing - yet just 12 years ago I had never ‘swiped’ in that way before! I wonder what it must be like for children who have grown up with a smart phone in their hand. What will the life of the infant be like, who I recently saw in her stroller with a smart phone in her tiny hands?
Maybe conversations of the future will simply be two people holding up their phones in front of each other with ‘chatbots’ talking to each other…

@kirkmahoneyphd @urszula @roberto Ah! I was looking for a thumbs up just the other day and wondered where it had gone to… It’s become a victim of misunderstandings!

2 Likes